I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
