You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
