Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
