if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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