umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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