i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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