If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
