i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
