new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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