i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize