when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
