I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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