Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
