So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
