Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
smell my finger.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
