there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
