I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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