I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
