To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
