what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
