who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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