Do you still have your period?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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