i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Panties = found
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