Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
