i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
