just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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