How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
