Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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