Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize