i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
