Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i out mim tonsoeep
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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