Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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