Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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