she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
