he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
