Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
