ugly people sure do ruin things
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
