would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
