He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
