I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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