I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
