Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This is my life. Enjoy the view
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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