Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
