I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
