I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
