To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
