Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
