First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
