Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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