Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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