If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
