Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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