I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
