Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
