I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
