saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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