i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
