you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
