I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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