Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
