Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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