Tell her she can't have a vagina
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
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