We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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