I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
