wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
