Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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