It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
