Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
